it's not that it wasn't funny. it was definitely funny. almost hysterical. but in a we're going to end up in a wood chipper/suddenly killed by an accidental axe/shot in the head by an outlawed bandit kind of way. yes, it was basically a cohen brothers' masterpiece. and as a character in their movie, I am The Disaster. the loose idiot running around (mildly comforting as this is every character in cohen brothers' movies. AND THEY ARE ALWAYS SOMEHOW ENDEARING. okay).
it began quietly: two girls driving on a curvy dirt road. in the rain. with no apparent destination. the campground was slightly sinister, slightly void of humanity, but we were here in montana to "rough it." big, open montana. unending montana.
after The Incident (keys, trunk, locked - still not quite funny yet), i caved. i layed on the dirt in the rain. i felt very abandoned and hopeless. i may have uttered some unladylike obscenities. i then decided i would have to tell abigail before i tried to get someone to help us. i yelled, i waded through a river, i was very pathetic (entirely deserved, i know. also entirely soaked). eventually we found each other and went to the camper next door where Barb promptly let us in and began texting frantically - to her husband, her friends at the campground next door, all while rain is pouring heavily down on the roof of the rv and abigail is stoically silent.
we were playing cards when Tammy pulled around the corner in her mint green truck. she was a ranger. she had cell phone service. she teaches 7th and 8th grade special ed. she chopped us firewood. she built us a fire. she digs up worms for the robin with eggs who lives in the tree outside her house. there is an evil crow involved. she is obviously incredible. you heard the rest from abigail. it was a short story. a very long short story.
we endured a silent drive to Suds 'n Fun to dry our soaking sleeping bags. the churning laundry, the little girl who kept opening and closing the doors of the 24 hour laundromat, pronouncing it closed, high school musical playing in the background. we indulged. we found safeway. we bought m & ms. dark chocolate bars. and strangely, postcards (though the last thing we wanted was a rectangle memory from butte).
we ate our v. nutritious dinner in the car (we at least recognized the dark-clouds-like-asbestos as ominous this time), in our sleeping bags, watching half of a mediocre movie, in a thunder storm. we awoke to a knock on our window this morning. somehow not a serial killer, but Barb's husband asking if we needed cereal. we didn't need cereal. abigail "showered" in the river, meaning her back is now unrecognizable. i took a run, which was truly beautiful, philosophically. i sat on top of a mountain in the sun hushed by the immensity of the sky and the open mountains.
now we are sitting in starbucks, writing, reading, waiting (so much of our lives...) for our 9:50 movie showing, which will be followed by a midnight drive to bozeman, where we we will sit at an all-night diner for a couple of hours, before we continue our drive to yellowstone. obviously, abigail has reasons for bitterness, but somehow we are still laughing. slightly bitter laughter, in cold blood laughter, little children laughter (the books we are currently reading), but laughter still. and i am crazy, wildly crazy, but i somehow can't help loving even this very disastrous beauty. because it is beautiful - the storm, the kind, wrinkled people, the way montana just unravels, even in its harsh Robert Frost remove - i am a dreamer, i cannot help it. i am sorry i am such an idiot. really.
yours, always, even when undesirable, hannah.
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